Song Parodies - Gatekeepers Style.
by Rift1
Summary: You asked for it. You know you did...a new chapter...dedicated to Sushi. Happy Birthday.
1. Track One: Tama Na Yan, Fanfic Na Yan

Fanfic Na 'Yan  
By Corruption Rift  
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Song 'Inuman Na' by Parokya Ni Edgar. Dedicated to all the fanfic writers in Gatekeepers and Vandread....even if you understand this one or not! ^_^  
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Setting: In a studio, all Gatekeepers lined up in front of mics, each holding modified lyrics of a song, and an author is valiantly trying to keep things organized.  
  
Corruption Rift: Hey - HEY! What is this?! This is a studio, for chrissakes, not a marketplace! QUIET!! *everyone more or less settles down* Ehem. This is the last practice - let's try to keep it together, shall we? I mean, we screwed up every other one, so...  
Kenshin:*sighs* This is the LAST time I ever listen to you.   
Corruption Rift: Shaddap. This is supposed to be a song dedicated to all the fanfic writers in fanfiction.net...  
Ukiya: Let's just get this over with.  
Ruriko: Yeah, me and Ukiya have to...*winks at Shun*..study.  
Kaoru: Hey!*grabs Ukiya's arm* Sempai's made an appointment with me yesterday!!  
Ruriko: NANI?!?*grabs Ukiya's other arm* Well, he also made his yesterday too!*starts bickering with Kaoru*  
Megumi:*muttering* Idiots. Stupid, stupid idiots. I hate you all...  
Reiko: C sharp...then B flat....then....anou.....where are my scales again?  
Fei:*calling out*Ukkieya! Ukkieya! Where have you gone off to now...Ukkieya!!  
Reiji:*stomping at imaginary cockroaches* Bug! Bug! SQUISH! SQUISH! AHAHAHAHAHA!!  
Bancho:*emoting in front of his mic* La...lalalaladidada.....Mi solo miiiiiooooo....  
Corruption Rift: Oh, for the love of...*takes shotgun from under podium and fires three shots into the air* I said *QUIET*!!! *crew shuts up* Kaoru! Ruriko! You can argue over Ukiya all you like, but afterwards, not in front of me! Megumi! Stop lowering everybody's self esteem! Do that later! Reiko! Your scales are on the floor! Fei! Find Ukkieya later, or I will! Bancho! This is not the opera! Reiji! ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I RUN AN INFESTED STUDIO?!?  
*Everybody looks at Reiji*  
Reiji: Uh..heheheh...*looks at Corruption Rift waving shotgun around, and sweatdrops*   
Corruption Rift: Okay. Now that's settled...Ed, start up the tape...everybody, sing in time...*aims shotgun at them* OR ELSE. I may be a lousy shot, but I can't possibly miss at this range.  
Everyone except Corruption: *sweatdrops*  
*Tape Begins, and everybody sings*  
  
Ruriko:*In a clear soprano voice* Maglabas ka na ng yelo...  
Kaoru:*still latched on to Ukiya* Para sa init ng ulo mo...  
Megumi:*facepalms* Kawawa naman ang inyong utak...  
Ukiya:*stuck in between Ruriko and Kaoru* Baka sumabog na ito...  
  
Kenshin:*in a baritone* Araw araw nag-i-imadyin...  
Reiji:*looks at Kenshin evilly*Pag-isip ang atupagin...  
Fei:*looks around for Ukkieya* Ineeksersays ang kukote...  
Bancho:*Off-key*Upang mailabas ang trip...  
  
  
Everyone:*aloud*Tama na yan, fanfic na yan...(tama na yan)  
Oy pare ko, tumagay ka...  
I-upload mo na sa website natin..  
Para ma-review na rin....  
  
Kenshin:*Goes into Battousai mode* Halatang pinagpaguran....  
Ruriko:*pulls Ukiya toward her* Inaabot na ng kung ewan...  
Kaoru:*sticks tounge out at Ruriko* Halos buong araw ay gamitin...  
Ukiya:*tries very hard to sing despite being pulled apart* Upang ang fanfic ay mapinis...  
  
Megumi:*forms a shield* Tama na yang pagtatype mo...  
Reiji:*throws a shadow edge back and forth between hands, and everybody backs away from him* Baka mabutas ang keyboard...  
Kenshin:*summons Angel Slayer* At saka yang pagsulat mo...  
Fei:*looks at Bancho admiringly* bahala ka, mapasma ka, tsong...   
  
Bancho:*flexes muscles* Kahit kinukutya ng nanay....  
Kaoru:*attempts to backfist Ruriko* Binubulyawan ng itay.....  
Ukiya:*gets hit by Kaoru instead* Kinukulit ka na ni ate....  
Megumi: Pati si Inday namemeste...(TAMA NA YAN!)  
  
Everyone: Tama na yan, fanfic na yan...(tama na yan)  
Oy pare ko, tumagay ka....  
I-upload mo na sa website natin...  
Para ma-review na rin....  
  
Reiji:*throws three shadow edges at Kenshin*Halos ika'y magkandarapa...  
Ruriko:*sticks tounge out at Kaoru, and aims arrow at her* Upang ma-i-upload sya...  
Kenshin:*blocks them away with Angel Slayer, and goes into Angel Slayer mode* Sayang-saya nung me mag-rebyu...  
Ukiya:*swirly-eyed* Ngunit ang sabi 'flame to you'...(NGEK!)  
  
  
Kenshin:*unsheathes Angel Slayer* Tama na yan, ayos lang yan...(tama na yan)  
Reiji:*makes Shadow Blade* Oy pare ko, tumahan na.....  
Kaoru:*rolls up sleeves* Sa lahat yan ay nangyayari....  
Ruriko:*aims arrow at Kaoru* tao ka lang, nagkakamali....(SOBRA NA YAN!)  
  
Ukiya:*faints* Tama na yan, inuman na....(HOY! INUMAN NA!!)  
Fei:*latches onto Bancho* Hoy pare ko, tumagay ka....  
Megumi:*facepalms once again* halina't kalimutan ang problema...  
Bancho: Sa fanfic mong sobrang ganda...(totoo ba yan?)  
  
Corruption Rift: Perfect! Perfect! Absolutely incredible....well, at least passable...and the studio's not even damaged....*looks at the Gatekeepers, and almost falls off his chair; Ruriko and Kaoru are throwing stuff and shooting arrows at each other, Reiji and Kenshin are swordfighting to the death, Megumi's reading a book while debri glances off her shield, Ukiya's unconscious on the ground and Fei and Bancho are talking about eloping*  
  
Corruption Rift: Aysosmaryosep! MGA TARANTADO KAYO!!  
*OWARI/TAPOS/FIN/THE END*  
  
=================================================================================================  
I came up with this during a jeepney ride...what can I say? :P  
Dedicated to all fanfiction writers everywhere! Especially to Ender, Miko-chan, UkiShun, BlueAngel, Hirumi-chan, the SUSHI INC - and those whom I haven't mentioned, you know who you are!  
  
Crpt.Rft/KeroChan 


	2. Track Two: Without Me(Battousai/Angel Sl...

Without Me (Battousai/Angel Slayer Remix)  
Gatemasters Original Sound Track: K.A.G.A.G.U.H.A.N.  
Disclaimer: Without Me is written and sung by Marshall Mathers, A.K.A Eminem. Gatekeepers are property of Gonzo. I do not pretend to own anything. So there.  
  
19. 19 reviews. I am overwhelmed.  
  
Thank you all!! You have no idea how surprised I was when I logged in. I mean, I posted this about what - two months ago? And it's already neck-to-neck with my first fic, Gatemasters, which has been on the ff.net database for about a year - and that can only mean one thing.  
  
I AM A GENIUS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!!! *sounds of colleagues beating humility back into me*  
  
Ahem. Well, to show my appreciation, here's another humble offering, from yours truly. Please review - and if this gets enough of that, I'll write up another one - better than the first. I promise. Peksman. ^__^  
  
Note: This is written fully in English. And has sexual situations. And has Megumi in a two-piece bathing suit. And has bad, bad words. You have been warned.  
  
Corruption Rift Presents:  
  
The World Premiere of Without Me(Battousai/Angel Slayer Remix)  
Gatemasters Original Sound Track: K.A.G.A.G.U.H.A.N  
  
**  
  
Scene: Studio One, all the sets are propped up. An author is trying *as usual* to get things organized, while the Gatekeeper party noisily chat*  
Corruption Rift: People, people...settle down...I SAID SETTLE DOWN, DAMMIT!  
All except Rift:*shuts up to an extent*  
Corruption Rift: Ehem. Now, the first song was an absolute success, people really liked it, as you can see from the reviews...  
Kenshin: I don't like where this is going. Not one bit.  
Corruption Rift:*glaring* As I was saying....since the feedback was so nice, we've decided to do another song, just before classes start.  
All except Rift:*groans*  
Ruriko: What song are we performing, anyway?  
Corruption Rift: Um...it's a song parody of Without Me, by Eminem.  
Kaoru: I've heard about him - a white guy who raps songs with vulgar language, right?  
Corruption Rift: More or less, yeah-  
Megumi: Cursing. An idiotic way of expressing guilt, dissapointment and rage -  
Corruption Rift: Nobody asked you for the definition, Kuroganei-  
Ukiya: Are we even old enough to listen to this? I mean, there's a Parental Advisory sticker on the cover...  
Corruption Rift: And that Hentai VCD you watched last night also HAD a Parental Advisory sticker on the--  
Ruriko: WHAT?! UKIYA WATCHED HENTAI!?! BAKAAAA!!!!  
Corruption Rift:*getting irritated* Yeah - I think it was Vandread-  
Bancho:*tears streaming* UKIYA!!! LEND ME THE TAPE, PLEASE!!!  
Corruption Rift: Sorry, Bancho, I get that tape next -  
Fei:*glares at Bancho* Hentai. FIRE DRAGON!!  
Corruption Rift:*pissed*HEY! No Gate attacks while in the studio, Feiring! I --  
Reiko: Um, Rift-san...I can't find my scales again...  
Corruption Rift: Oh. They're on the floor. *takes out shotgun, and fires three shots* I SAID QUIET!!! I --  
All except Rift:*looks at him expectantly*  
Corruption Rift: What?  
Kenshin: Aren't you forgetting something?  
Corruption Rift: What are you -- oh. No, not this time. Let's just get this over with, shall we? Okay...as you can see in your scales, Kenshin has a large, if not all the parts, so most of you are just going to pose -  
Ruriko: What? I thought this was a recording -  
Corruption Rift: That's right, except we have VIDEO now, thanks to the generous donations of our kind, kind reviewers...  
All except Rift: Oooh.  
Corruption Rift: Now, if the females would just gladly go into the costume room and change into their bikinis...  
Ruriko/Kaoru/Fei/Reiko/Megumi/Reina:*aghast* BIKINIS?!?  
Bancho/Ukiya/Megane:*overjoyed* BIKINIS!!!  
Corruption Rift:*looks up from scales* Bikinis. You know, the skimpy bathing suits girls wear in beaches or in swimming pools...  
Ruriko: But, but, but...  
Corruption Rift: Get going. *aims shotgun at them all* Now. When I'm still in a nice mood.  
Reina: You know, Rift, I'm starting to regret ever giving you that piece on your birthday.  
*All girls scurry off*  
Corruption Rift: Now, Ukiya, Bancho, Megane - I'm sorry to say that you'll only be instrumentalists in this song -  
Ukiya: That's no problem. Hey, can I bring a camera?  
Corruption Rift:*facepalms* Why do you think I have so many surveillance cameras stationed all around the studios, dumbass?  
Ukiya:*Looks around* Oh. Even in the changing room?  
Corruption Rift:*pats Ukiya on the back with a sad expression* You have much to learn, young jedi.   
Ukiya:*face lights up* Really?!?  
Corruption Rift: I'll lend you the tape when I'm...done with it.   
Ukiya: GOODY!! *runs off, with Bancho and Megane close behind*  
Corruption Rift: Sucker. Now, Kenshin, if you'd look over your part -  
Kenshin: But this lyrics have bad words de gozaru. It's against my moral code-  
Corruption Rift: Way ahead of you. *presses a button on his almighty author plot device*   
Intercom:*loudly*I SAID A NAAAA NA NA NA NAAAA NA NA NA NAA NA NA NAAA NA NA NAA  
NA NA NA NAAAAAAA!  
Kenshin: What the --  
Corruption Rift:*looks at watch* Three...two...one...  
Kenshin: AAARRGGHH!!! *transforms into Battousai* STOP IT! STOP THAT GODDAMN SINGING!!  
Corruption Rift: Mission accomplished. *presses another button, and singing stops*  
Battousai: That was horrible. Fucked up. The worst version of the Land of 1000 Dances I've ever heard. *grins evilly* Where'd you get it?  
Corruption Rift: I'd rather not go into that...anyway, if you could just go through your part again...  
Battousai: Hmph. *leaves through script* Kid stuff. You should hear Reina while we're in bed -  
Corruption Rift: ^__^; I really didn't need to hear that.  
Battousai: You're right. Next time, bring a tape recorder.  
Corruption Rift: Gotcha.   
*The girls come in, clad in only bikinis*  
Corruption Rift:*looks down, hoping that his nose won't explode in a bloody mess* Uh, okay. You girls just take your position there. Reina and..um..Ruriko, in the bed, please.  
Reina: I know this part. It's where we go into bed with him, right?   
Corruption Rift: I...think so.  
Reina:*cracks her knuckles in anticipation* Payback time, Battousai.   
Ruriko:*blushes furiously, looking at Battousai and Reina* Oh...my...  
Corruption Rift: People, people. We are wasting studio money here. The time we waste goes out of my pockets. GET GOING.  
All except Rift:*runs off*  
  
*Fade to Black*  
*Music Starts*  
  
Kenshin:(Voiceover) Two Tategami girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside..  
*Shot of Gatekeeper girls in bikinis, parading*  
Two Gatekeeper girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside...  
  
Ruriko:*blushing madly* Oooooooooh!  
  
Kaoru/Ruriko/Reiko/Reina/Megumi/Francine/Fei:  
Guess who's back - back again!  
Kenshin's back - tell a friend!  
Guess who's back, guess who's back,   
guess who's back, guess who's back,  
guess who's back, guess who's back,  
guess who's back...  
  
*scene changes to Battousai, in bed between Reina and Ruriko. He bolts upright, waking up the two girls in the process - Reina sits up, kisses Battousai, sees Ruriko, then punches his lights out*  
Corruption Rift: Perfect!  
Battousai: Ow.  
Corruption Rift: Your part. NOW.  
Battousai:*shrugs, then sings*  
I've just unsealed a monster, cause nobody wants to   
See Battousai, no more than they want Angel Slayer -  
I'm Mr. Planet Killer - *waves Angel Slayer around*  
Well, if you want Kenshin, then this is what I give you  
A sakabatou up your ass alongside couple of snipers   
Some sake that'd make my heart jumpstart quicker  
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital  
By Ruriko and Reina when I'm not cooperating -  
I'm fine, I can manage, get away from me *Reina whacks him with a mallet* (WHAM!)  
You've waited this long so stop debating!  
Cuz I'm back, with the scar, and Ku-Zu-Ryu-Sen-ing!  
I know you got a problem with Mr Kikai -   
Don't worry, he's gone, blasted up to the sky! *shot of Kikai flying upwards* (WHEEEE!!!)  
So...AEGIS F.E. won't let me be  
Or let me be me so let me see  
Supreme Commander tried to shut me down on TV  
But it just feels so empty, without me--  
So come on, scream, and wave your arms like crazy-  
This battousai's on a killin' frenzy -  
and get ready, take it from this li'l rurouni -  
I'm going to blast you offscreen - *Battousai flips the camera the finger* FUCK YOU, REIJI!!  
  
Corruption Rift: Okay, chorus! Give me feeling, people! Girls! Go!  
*Bikini-clad Gatekeepers rush in, line up behind Battousai, and start dancing*  
  
Battousai:  
Now this looks like a job for me-  
So everybody - just follow me -  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy  
and it feels so empty without me...  
  
I SAID this looks like a job for me -  
so everybody - just follow me!  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy..  
And it feels so EMPTY! Without me..  
  
*Scene change to AEGIS United Headquarters*  
Corruption Rift: Perfect! Perfect! Scene change! Reina, stop making out with the lead singer, please -  
Reina:*disengages from Battousai* You're no fun.  
Corruption Rift: Second verse now! Focus!  
Battousai: But the first couple of lines has nothing to do with --  
Corruption Rift: JUST SING!  
Battousai:*throws him a dirty look, and sings*  
  
Little authors, feeling rebellious  
flaming this, flaming that, being so 'flamous' -  
They start dissing people including the author of this fic -  
Until someone comes along with a mission and shouts 'BITCH!'  
A reviewer, reviewer is scary, in a reviewing frenzy  
That's a lemon, you prick - are you blind? Can't you see -  
Dita and Hibiki doing THE nasty?!? (Aaah! AAAAHHH!!)  
So let me just revel and bask -  
In the fact that everyone's just after my ass - (Shishio/Saitou: BATTOUSAI!!)  
The vendettas, the villains - such a catastrophe  
But I'll take 'em all, kick their ass, for the whole world to see!  
Well I'm back - *Batman Theme* Fix your bent antenna  
tune it in and see me punp lead into every invader (BLAM! BLAM!)  
alongside with Reina, my fellow ass-kicker  
I'm interesting, more so than wrestling  
Wooing over your daughters, in their dreams I'm kissing (SMOOCHY SMOOCHY!)  
Testing! Please just flick that switch -  
(Alarm) TIME TO DIE, BITCH! TIME TO DIE, BITCH!  
I'd sell my two cents, but my bullets're free -  
An invader? Who sent, you lookin' for me?! *BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*  
  
Corruption Rift: Chorus again! With more oomph! More feeling! More...  
Battousai: Shut up.  
Corruption Rift:*meekly* Yes sir.  
  
Battousai:  
Now this looks like a job for me-  
So everybody - just follow me -  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy  
and it feels so empty without me...  
  
I SAID this looks like a job for me -  
so everybody - just follow me!  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy..  
And it feels so empty without me..  
  
Corruption Rift: Third and final verse! Girls, around Mr Battousai, please! More on the -  
Battousai: Zip it.  
Corruption Rift: But I just -  
Battousai: Zip it.  
Corruption Rift: It'll look better when -  
Battousai: ZIP. IT.  
Corruption Rift:*shuts up*  
*Gatekeeper girls crowd around Battousai*  
Battousai:  
A tiskit, a taskit-  
I go tit for that with anybody who's trying to do this and that shit  
Kikai-shogun, you'll get your ass kicked  
Worse than them little red cores you just can't stop on making!  
And Akuma? You just got vaporized by Ukiya  
You fishbowl-wearing-for-a-hat alien, (Ruriko: Bai bai!) See ya!  
But hey, you know me - you're too old,  
Let go - it's over....*cash register ring* Battousai's taking over this show!  
Now let's go - just you give me the signal  
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults  
I've been dope, too addictive for TV -  
Get me on VHS, VCD, or even DVD -  
Ever since AEGIS knew that Yuji was Reiji! *GASP!*  
But sometimes the shit just seems,   
that everyone wants to dispatch me!  
So that must mean, i'm irri-ta-ting!  
But I'm just cute, that's just envy!   
Though I'm not the first king of controversy -  
I AM the worst thing since that damn Pokemon fling  
To kill invaders so indiscriminately  
And use my fame to get laid every evening!(Reina backhands Battousai) *SLAP*  
OW! Here's a concept that works -  
Fifty million Slayers come out and emerge  
But no matter how many fish in the sea...  
It'll be just so empty, without me..  
  
Now this looks like a job for me-  
So everybody - just follow me -  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy  
and it feels so empty without me...  
  
I SAID this looks like a job for me -  
so everybody - just follow me!  
Cause we need a little bit o' controversy..  
And it feels so empty without me..  
  
Gatekeeper girls: Hum dei la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la  
Hum dei la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la.....  
  
Battousai: Kids!  
  
*fade to black*  
  
Corruption Rift: Great! Absolutely fantastic! BRAVO!! *starts clapping* That's a wrap.  
Battousai: Heh. Nothing to it.  
Ruriko: Um, Rift, can we change now? It's kind of getting cold in here...  
Corruption Rift:*pinches nose* Um, okay. Sure. Right in that room. *points to where the instrumentalists(read: Ukiya, Bancho and Megane) are hiding*   
Ruriko: Okay. *girls go into the room, and Rift locks them in*  
Battousai: Hey! That was my idea!  
Corruption Rift: I know.  
All girls:*screaming* HENTAI!!!!!  
  
*Owari*  
  
Ending notes:  
(La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la laaaaahh....)  
Of all the ideas I had stored in the back of my brain this one kept festering right from the minute I saw Eminem's new video. Review if you like, flame if you will. Sorry, for those who gets offended in reading this fic. Remember, this is all in the spirit of fun. Bleah.  
Anyway, this is an ongoing experiment - since the first parody (Tama Na Yan, Fanfic Na Yan) generated so much reviews, I thought - what the hell. Maybe this isn't funny as the first, but...look forward for more.   
  
Crpt.Rft/KeroChan 


End file.
